I.Love.You.

My dearest,

You know whats its like? I am not living for myself anymore.I have changed.My mom always tells me that ultimately in life most of the things you end up doing is for others.Life is to live for others.I always used to contradict her statement saying that its my life and if I don't live it for myself,then whats the point? I understand her completely now.I guess I have grown up to that.I really can't decide whether I am feeling good or bad about it.I'm just doing fine.

So coming back to the first sentence-you know what its like?

I don't get up anymore in the morning thinking how my day is going to be.I am always thinking how your day is going to be.

Whenever I have food I am always thinking that how bad it is that you can't have home-made food like me.You live on sandwiches!

I no more go to internet to connect with old friends or make some new ones.I am always there to check any mails from you or to check any messages from you on Facebook or to visit your blog.Somehow I feel home when I'm on your blog.

I don't use cellphone anymore to forward messages to my friends or to call an old buddy or to listen to mp3.I am always looking for a message,a call or a missed call from you.But of course I don't get it until I send you one because you are prohibited and I am so glad that you understand.

I am no more going out for movies,shopping,eating or meeting friends.I only go out to talk to you or rarely,meet you :)

I don't feel like sleeping at night because I know you will be sleeping late.Especially during your night shifts I don't feel like sleeping at all!I feel like being there beside you.

I have lost interest in myself.
I don't feel like one person anymore.
I don't feel like making any decision alone.I want your say for everything.

And I am not feeling sad about it.In fact,I feel complete now.You complete me and I so happily say that!
You or me more or less means the same to me now.

I don't care for myself anymore.Even if I do a little-by taking medicines on time,by studying and by thinking of a good career,its only because I know it will make you and our life together happy.
I don't feel any need to be happy anymore.I just need you to be happy.

I feel I am no more me but you.Its not like I am dead,its like I am born again.
And so I cannot say no to anything that you ask,because its like saying no to myself.

I have found a reason to live.
I feel content for what I have for the first time in my life.My mom always says that whatever is done or given to me,I am never satisfied.But this time,I am!

You have become more than just a part of my life.You have become my life-my happiness,my strength,my reason,my addiction.

All these years I used to talk to myself getting no response but now I have you-you who has solution for every problem,you who has cure for every disease,you who can ease my pain with your words and you who gives his ears for anything and everything that I have got to say.

I sometimes used to think of my future- where I'll be ten years from now and such.Now I know,I know what my life has in store for me.It has you and a lot of smiles :)

I am not looking at myself in the mirror.I am always looking at the someone beside me.

To sum it up all in three words,I love you and that is etched in my heart with your name on it.

So hold my hands dear and lead me to heaven,heaven that I find only in your arms.

Yours,
M

To the man who filled Over a cup of coffee with Colors

Always in your thoughts,I would
Never let you go.
I solemnly swear to
Love you till the end.



Well,I am back after my exams and its vacation time now! And after reading this post,I need not say how beautiful my life is now. :)

Cheers!